Reckless (A Second Chance Romance) Read online

  He came to me, just before his trip to New York to get started with his brand-new life. He tried his best to have a civilized conversation with me, but I couldn’t fathom that life had gone on. Even though I was pushing him away, it felt like he was abandoning me in my hour of need.

  Then he was gone.

  And it was all my fault.

  After he left, my total focus had been on my mother, and the process of simply breathing in and out. I’d had no time for boys. No time to even mourn the one I’d lost. And the years had simply slipped away while I’d been busy picking up the pieces of my life.

  It wasn’t like I’d intended to remain a virgin or even given my lack of a love life much thought. I’d just been busy…doing…coping…caring for others. I just didn’t have the time or energy for anything more.

  Miss Violet harrumphed, pulling me back to the present. “I have an idea.”

  I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear it, so my voice was hesitant as I asked, “What’s that?”

  “It’s time that you got back into the swing of life, it sounds like to me. I have a handsome nephew about your age, and—”

  I held up both hands. “I’m sure he’s really nice, but I’m too busy to date right now.”

  She huffed. “I’m not talking about dating. I’m just talking about a little hanky-panky so you can get your groove back.”

  Millie cackled from the other side of the bed. “Doesn’t sound like our little friend here ever had a groove.”

  I glared at her but couldn’t really disagree. Before my face could turn another new shade of red, I turned away, flinging the curtain back and stepping out of the space without looking.

  And ran straight into a warm body.

  Arms went around me, and the extra box of gloves I’d taken from Violet’s station dropped to the floor, making a loud slapping sound.

  The spicy clean scent was familiar, and I stiffened as hands clasped my upper arms, steadying me on my feet. My heart fluttered in my chest, and I mentally told it no. It wasn’t possible. The hand, the scent, the chest my nose was pressed against couldn’t possibly be familiar.

  They couldn’t be.

  I dragged my eyes up, convinced my patient’s ramblings had finally driven me insane.

  But he was real. I knew because the place low in my belly that had only ever responded to him awoke and started throbbing.

  I tried to control my suddenly rapid breathing as my eyes lifted of their own accord to gray-green ones.

  The instant mine met his, a tiny dart pierced my heart.

  “Gage Strickland.”

  3

  Gage

  Wide, familiar blue eyes stared up into mine, unblinking.

  A rush of heat hit me so hard I nearly stumbled and gripped her upper arms to steady us both.

  I’d stopped in front of the curtain drawn to protect a patient’s privacy because the conversation had drawn me in. Not because I liked to eavesdrop, but because I knew that voice.

  Her voice.

  Kelly.

  The ER had gone silent around me, all I could hear was the beating of my own heart. Had I understood that conversation right? Was Kelly still a virgin?

  A gasp ripped from Kelly’s parted lips, and she stepped back, breaking our contact. Did I say that part about her virginity out loud?

  I closed the distance again. “Kelly…”

  Her black lashes fluttered rapidly, and her cheeks turned a rosy shade of pink, just like I remembered.

  “It doesn’t mean what you’re thinking, Gage.”

  “I wasn’t—”

  “Yes, you were, and it’s none of your business if I choose to—”

  She was interrupted when the same curtain she’d stumbled into me from behind was ripped aside, a sassy looking gray-haired lady half-sitting on the bed, half poked out of the curtain. When her eyes landed on me, she lit up like a Roman candle. “Well, Gage Strickland, as I live and breathe. You must be the rock star!”

  “Violet!” Kelly hissed.

  The blood in my veins that had come to a complete halt when she’d plowed into me started moving again, and warmth flooded me. I nodded to my bodyguard, giving him the signal that it was cool to step away and let me have some space. It was then that I realized Kelly was wearing scrubs.

  “I heard you were a nurse.”

  Before she could answer, Violet said, “Yes, dearie, she’s a nurse who not only heals, she saves lives. Bet a boy like you could use some of her healing right about now.”

  Kelly made a choking sound as I rocked back on my heels. What was a man supposed to say to that?

  I met Kelly’s horrified eyes, sure I was about to step deeper into the past than I’d planned or wanted, and not sure I could stop myself. “Yes, ma’am. I suppose I could.”

  Kelly’s face flamed. “You don’t need healing, Gage. What you need is to—”

  “For my mom.” The last word came out weaker than the rest. Weak, the way she was when I got here. Like I’d never seen her before. Babs Strickland was the strongest woman in the world. Right up there with Kelly Cavendish.

  What the fuck was Kelly doing here?

  Working at the hospital of all places. After everything she’d been through, I couldn’t imagine a worse place for her. Surrounded by sick and injured people all day long, no escape from her past.

  Unless that was the point.

  “Your mom’s here?” Kelly asked, instantly concerned.

  I nodded. “Yes. She’s been here since late last night. They’re still waiting on a room to open up upstairs.”

  “Mind if I visit her for a moment?”

  I shoved a hand through my hair, unsure what to do. But how could I possibly tell her no? Especially when I was so damn happy to see her again. “Of course.”

  As Kelly walked with me to where my mom lay in a bed behind her own curtain, I took in her curvy figure out of the corner of my eye. The top of Kelly’s head was barely higher than my shoulder, her nurse shoes silent on the shiny tile floor. The scent of candied cherries surrounded her, making my cock twitch in my pants.

  I needed to shut that shit down. It wouldn’t do to get a boner in the emergency room my mother was checked in to. Especially over an ex-girlfriend who was obviously not happy to see me.

  No, not an ex. The ex. The only ex, because I’d never gotten serious with another woman after her.

  I was torn about mom seeing her. She’d always had the hope that, somehow, we’d get back together. But Kelly had been inconsolable back then, so sure that she could never leave New Hope, and so sure that she didn’t want me to stay with her either. And I’d been useless in the face of her pain. Her pain and my own.

  Her dad had been the closest thing I’d ever had to one. I’d never had a father, as mine hadn’t even stuck around long enough to see me born. It had always been just me and my mom, and Kelly’s family was the next best thing to having a family of my own. They’d been close-knit, Kelly and Stephen, unlike any siblings I knew. They actually liked one another and even hung out. They got along well with their parents, it was a home filled with laughter and love.

  Not that I ever felt deprived. My mom was an awesome enough parent, but I loved the noise of the Cavendish home. That asshole drunk driver destroyed a really good family. He might have lost his own life in the accident and paid the ultimate price, but he took half of the Cavendishs with him.

  And I lost Kelly that day too. Her heart died along with her father and brother. The love she had felt for me had gotten lost in the deep well of her pain.

  I hoped Mom would be presentable when we reached her partitioned off area. The nurse aid had been changing her gown when I’d stepped out. I didn’t want to upset Kelly. Whatever was going on with my mom had made her lose weight in a remarkably short amount of time. Her skin and eyes were a strange yellow color that had made my heart sink when I’d first seen her. She was weak, her legs like jelly when she stood. I didn’t want to think the worst, but my mind kept darting there regardless. Something seemed to be destroying her from the inside out.

  And I couldn’t shake the suspicion that everyone here knew more than I did.

  “So, what’s happening with your mom?” Kelly stuck to a safe topic as I hung back from the curtain Mom was behind to fill her in.

  “I don’t know, really.” I raked my fingers through my hair, her eyes following their path, as if she hadn’t noticed how much longer it was. “I was on tour in New York, we’d just done a show, and she called me. It was late last night, and she sounded so weird, not like herself. I got here as fast as I could, had to skip out on the next show.” The words spilled from my lips, and as Kelly’s face twisted up, I realized I’d come across as pretentious.

  “Oh, that must have been…a hard decision to make.” She seemed to be looking everywhere but at me.

  Idiot! I wanted to smack my forehead. “No, I didn’t mean it to sound like that. I’m just…I haven’t had much sleep.”

  Discomfort crept through me, a hot reminder that even though this was Kelly Cavendish—the girl I knew better than anyone in the world, the only woman I’d ever loved—she was now a mere stranger.

  “I understand.” Kelly was using what I was sure was her nurse voice, and I wondered again how she ended up here, nursing sick people. “Has she complained to you about feeling sick before?”

  “Well, this morning she confessed that she’d fainted a couple of times, but I’m sure she’s playing it down for me. You know how protective she is, she tries to shield me from everything.”

  Kelly shot me the briefest of smiles. It wasn’t much, but it made my pulse rate speed up dramatically. That smile took me back to a time when it was the one thing I lived for. Back then, I never thought I’d have to live without it.

&nbs
p; “I hope she’ll be happy to see me.” Kelly pulled back the curtain, stepping into the nurse role that was unfamiliar to me. And hot. Back then, she’d been cute, sexy even. Now, she was pinup-girl hot, dressed in nurse garb. Damn. I needed to get sick real quick. I tried not to grimace as my cock pulsed.

  “Let me raise your bed, Ms. Strickland. I’ll—”

  “I don’t need anyone to raise my bed for me, thank you very much, I’m not dead yet! I can raise it myself.” Mom glared at the nurse and snatched the remote out of her hand, jabbing her finger onto the button.

  This was why I never needed a father figure. Mom’s personality filled whatever room she happened to be in, and she was never afraid to tell it like it was.

  “Mom, she’s only trying to help.”

  The glare turned my way. “Gage, you shouldn’t even be here. I told you not to come. You don’t get a say…” The glare turned into wide-eyed surprise before morphing into pure pleasure. “Kelly?”

  Beside me, Kelly turned up her smile by several degrees. “Hi, Ms. Strickland.”

  “Hey, I’m just trying to help out here.” Mom didn’t even hear me, her face lighting up as she cooed Kelly’s name again.

  Mom’s eyes shot back to me. “I’m at the hospital, aren’t I? Let me take it from here.”

  With what I was sure had to be the sheer determination of an ox, she hoisted herself up on the pillows and peeled the sleeve of her robe back to let her blood pressure be taken.

  My eyes collided with Kelly’s, and we shared a knowing look. My mom was a whole lot of fun, but I wasn’t sure she’d be the best patient ever. Relief shot through me that Mom’s stubbornness had thawed Kelly toward me, even if only for a minute.

  When the nurse was finished and made her exit, the atmosphere automatically thickened.

  The last time the three of us had been in the same room, Kelly’s family had still been whole. We’d been a couple. Life had been good. Everything left unsaid shimmered just below the surface, a heavy cloud of the past hanging in a low fog.

  But with my mother here, none of it would stay unsaid for long.

  “Kelly. It’s been a very long time since I last saw you. Do you work in the ER now?”

  “Not just the ER. I’m a float nurse, so I go wherever they need me.”

  “Hmm…” Mom gave her a considering look. “I always thought you’d turn out to be a writer, or maybe a veterinarian, but that’s wonderful, dear.”

  I rolled my eyes. Mom had a way of complimenting you and letting you know her opinion in a way that left your head spinning. In high school, Kelly had been known to take in any stray or injured wild animal that she found or that was given to her. I wondered if she had a barnyard of animals by now.

  “Kelly, dear,” Mom said, her hazel green eyes going damp. Kelly stiffened beside me. “I know we haven’t talked much since…since then, but I wanted to let you know—”

  “Please.” Kelly’s voice was thick and her body so rigid I thought she might break in two. “Please, don’t.”

  Mom let out a breath and nodded. “All right.” She cocked her head, the purple smudges under her eyes becoming more apparent with the tilt. “I was surprised to learn that you were getting your nursing degree. Gage never told me that was your interest.” She narrowed her eyes at me. “But then, Gage never told me anything. Still doesn’t. That boy never changes, no matter how famous he gets.”

  Kelly relaxed a little, and a tiny smile curled up her plump lips. “He’s doing very well, isn’t he?”

  She’d been keeping track?

  “Yes. Can you believe my boy’s the front man of a rock band?” She clapped her hands together in what probably would have been a gleeful manner but instead was almost in slow motion. I frowned, a sense of foreboding catching me in the chest. “I don’t like to toot my own horn, but I must’ve done something right. But then, it sure looks like you’re doing well for yourself too.”

  Kelly laughed, a sweet sound that turned back the calendar, and I found myself stuffing my hands in my pockets so I wouldn’t touch her. “I don’t think it’s quite on the same scale.” Kelly leaned in to study the screen that showed Mom’s vitals. “But thank you.”

  Mom’s eyes bore into me, and I knew she was about to open a can of worms. Shit. I furrowed my eyebrows, giving her a don’t you dare get out the can opener look.

  Of course she decided to go for it. “And how has everything else been since high school? Do you have a husband and a couple of kids waiting for you at home?”

  I closed my eyes and tried to ignore the intense jealousy that shot through me, even though I’d overheard about her lack of a relationship less than five minutes ago. When it came down to it, would it really matter if Kelly did have a husband? I wasn’t totally sure I wanted to know the answer. On one hand, her being married would feel so wrong. On the other, it would make her way too available. And I didn’t plan on going there.

  Not that I wouldn’t take her to bed in a flat heart attack. Finish what we had started so long ago. Even in scrubs, her ass was just as I remembered, firm and heart-shaped as she bent over to check Mom’s IV.

  Still, I was metaphorically perched on the edge of my chair, desperate to hear what she had to say.

  “Oh no. Not much love life for me. I’m married to the job.”

  Interesting. She’d remained single. She probably hadn’t been alone for seven long years, but she was single now, just as I happened to crash back into her life. Did that mean something?

  “Ah, that is such a shame. A beautiful woman like you, hidden away. It’s not right.”

  “You sound like Millie, a nurse friend of mine. She’s always saying stuff like that to me. But I’m fine, really, Ms. Strickland.”

  Kelly wasn’t looking at me on purpose, I could tell, but then if I was put under the spotlight about my lack of a relationship, I’d probably react the same way. Thank god I didn’t have that problem.

  Christ, she was even better than the images I couldn’t get out of my head at the start of each concert, every damn time I sang our love song. Perhaps it wasn’t that way for her. I clenched my jaw. I’d tried to get us back on track, tried to get to her through the rage she threw at me, then the ice cold wall she erected. But she would never let me in, then Gaged had gotten famous, and we had continued to go our separate ways.

  The guilt that accompanied the heartache that swept through me every time I thought of her settled into my stomach. Maybe she’d never felt the way I had, even before the drunk driver had destroyed her world. Either way, she deserved more than being left behind. Not that she didn’t seem happy. She did. And beautiful. And competent. Maybe she didn’t need me after all.

  Mom nudged her playfully, already seeming more like herself since Kelly entered the room. “You know me too well for that. Call me Babs.”

  “Babs, of course.”

  “So, Kelly.” Mom used her I’m being careful but I’m still going to say it anyway voice. “How is your mom? I don’t get to see her very much.”

  Kelly didn’t answer her at first as she made a big show of typing something into the rolling computer at Mom’s bedside, but she blinked a few too many times as she studiously stared at the screen. “Mom is good. I still go around to help her as much as I can. I think she’ll always struggle a bit.” The emotion was evident in her voice. She still hurt a lot, even now.

  “Yes, of course. She’s lucky to have you.”

  “Mom says she doesn’t need me to come by every day, but then who would do all the little things if I wasn’t around?” Kelly sighed. “Well, I’ll go check on the status of your room upstairs.”

  “Of course, but I’d much rather be going home. There’s so much to do in the garden…”

  I hoped her optimism carried some weight. No one wanted to get her out of here more than I did, but I wasn’t convinced. Mom wasn’t fully herself. It was obvious just by looking at her, something was going on.

  Something bad.

  Kelly turned, and with that motion, I caught a glimpse of not only the girl I left behind, but the woman she’d become. I’d been so struck by seeing her again, I guessed I’d really only seen her how she used to be, mixed with the contrast of us before that terrible night, but seven years had transformed her.